on the fungibility of "B'loonies", a product not for children.
G.M.K.H. Report on the fungibility of "B'loonies", a polyvinyl acetate toy product.
Product manufactured by "ja-ru" in taiwan, 1997. Product has no expiration date. Package contains-eight tiny plastic straws, eight assorted tubes of "b'loonie goo". Goo contains - polyvinyl acetate, ethyl acetate, plastic fortifiers, and "certified" colors (sic). The G.M.K.H. is not sure exactly what "plastic fortifiers" are, or why the colors are dubiousy certified, or by whom. The package cost $2.69 american.
Warning labels-
"choking hazard. keep away from children."
"not a gum. do not chew or swallow."
"caution, flammable, do not use near fire or flame"-repeated several times
"caution flammable"
"do not chew"
"read instructions"
"do not use near fire"
not for children under six"
flammable mixture-keep away from flame"
Instructions-
"1.unscrew cap and slowly puncture tube with pointed tip. 2. slowly squeeze a ball of plastic and stick on the end of the "blowpipe" (sic) 3. blow slowly the size or shape you want. simply pinch to seal.-You can create all kinds of shapes in many colors!"
Test Protocols
This product was tested on four (4) adults, three males and one female. Since the label recommends "keep away from children" no children were used in product testing. This label, however, clearly contraindicates the sentiment expressed by the packaging, which implies that children are nearly crazed simply by being in close proximity to product. (see illustration for wild-eyed fist-pumping.)
Adult number one (1) immediately opened product tube of blue, squeezed out a thumb-size portion, and blew several large and thin b'loons. The process employed appeared to be a combination of puff-and-blow, first she blew into the tiny straw with force, then breathed around it, inhaling the sweet nectar deeply before once again inflating. after twenty minutes subject one (1) stated "I feel toasty now" and removed some outergarments. This would seem to be a positive endorsement of product. She also expressed misgiving about bringing flame into contact with product near the house.
Adult number two (2) proceeded to make multiple small b'loons out of varying mixes of colors, and cut open the bottom of b'loon tube in oredr to get more product out at once, predominantly red. This subject was seen to hang head so that b'loon hung downward from his face while inflating. He did not appear to be interested in breathing the fumes, and afterward attempted to set the grouping of inflated b'loons on fire. This will be outlined at end of report. This also would seem to be a positive endorsement.
Adult number three (3) had difficulty at first in keeping the polyvinyl from popping holes while inflating. After breathing through straw in and out into one inflated b'loon he stated "that's pretty strong, if you breathe it in through the straw!" He also joined in attempt to burn b'loon remains. He titled the completed b'loon pile "the jelly molecule". Also a positive response.
Adult number four (4) did not cut open the bottom of the b'loon tube, though this was evidently the easiest way to get the most out of tube. He also made relatively few b'loons, and his first few were rather uncertainly made, containing holes and little to no air. He was excited about setting the remains on fire and repeatedly requested this, although it had already been proven they would not efficiently light. I would call this an ambivalent response.
The results for this section of the experiment are as follows; Number of participants: four (4) number who reacted positively
---------------------------------------to product in general: four--- (4)
----------------------------------------to fumes from ethyl acetate- (3)
--------------------------to illustration of crazed child on package- (2)
---------------------------------------------------to finished product- (3)
-------------to instructions by proceeding slowly through all steps-(0)
number who attempted to
---------------------------------------compare scent to ex-lover's-(1)
---------rip wrong end of tube in effort to get more out at once-(2)
---------------------------------------inhale fumes for comic effect-(3)
--------------------------------------------chew or swallow product-(1)
-------use near fire or flame, despite product package warnings-(3)
------------------------"create all kinds of shapes in many colors"-(4)
Section two of this experiment consisted of attempting to ignite used, inflated b'loons with a regular bic lighter. This did not succeed, therefore making the number of warnings about "use of product near fire or flame" rather a silly thing to clutter up the package with.
Summation of results;
Packaging should be changed to read "please do not inhale fumes for more than ten minutes, or headache may result." and-"Do not chew until AFTER inhaled.".
Package warnings regarding flammable nature of product should be removed. The age warnings of "children over 6 only" and "keep away from children" should be changed to read "do not allow dog to eat."
This concludes the GMKH report on the experiment.
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