1. I wanted so badly to give her a one. I mean, bottle-blonde, strappy hawaiian thingy, those fucking nails, and the tooth whitening syrup smile....but then I saw her eyes. and she turned into a ten. Not only is she afraid to get the liner into the center, but it looks like she's been drinking mojitos for a week straight. Like she HAD to lean on that wall in order to stay upright. And like she's enjoying herself.
2. "I'm not only the president of hair plug club for men, I'm a member!" This member gets a two.
3. Are you a nice asian girl or a hippy snowboarder? Make up your mind please, there are a few teenage boy neighbors of yours who are being sexually confused by you for life. I give her a one, partly because she's cut someone out of the picture (-you're not that good at photoshop, honey) and also because she just seems...snotty.
4. Oh hahaha. This was funny for a year. Then the grim reality set in that we actually have a guy, who is frightened of baby turkeys giving him a blowjob, deciding the fate of "the free world". I know some of you still find this stuff incredibly funny but one day you will be older and wiser and begin to try and pretend it isn't really happening. I give it a mediocre four.
5."toughest guy U know" is what this one said. I gave him a nine just on the off chance that it really is ironic as hell, and therefore, hilarious.
6.This guy, on the other hand, scores our only ten today. He is shy, he lives next door, and you are best friends with his big sister. When he gets a little older he's gonna come home from college to visit and you will barely be able to keep yourself from ogling his giant bulge and amazing pecs. In the meantime he makes his own T-shirts, hoping against hope that you will take the hints he's too afraid to say out loud.
7. Carrie IV- The Irk (she gets three because she reminded me of a crappy movie, carrie II-the rage. but in a sepia/poster photoshop way.)
8. Sexy grandpa coaches kids. He used to be a sailor but now he lives in that weird little house at the end of the block all alone, just him and his ancient Jack russell terrier named doc. They know every neighbor and if you are ever sad he'll invite you in for whiskey or tea or something and totally make you laugh your ass off talking about how hookers used to be "sharp little cookies". Nine points.
9. First, you have to have taken steroids for a while to really understand this one. It's like they eat your brain and make you think that your overstuffed-sausage arm is hot. Then, to top it all off, you find this cool steal your face head with some tribal and decide to get it slapped on there, to "emphasize the shape of the muscle". One point, given grudgingly, because at least he's on drugs and has an excuse.
10. I have two things to say about this one. First, I was wondering if he hung those curtains himself. Because if he did, he's very brave to show his creative side, his sensitive feminine side, so openly. And second, why one earth would you cut your mouth out of a picture that's not even "artsy"? Does he have a cleft palate that never got fixed, or something? Does he have a big tumor there? Because the right people would like him anyway. He shouldn't be afraid to be himself. Five points for the decor.