Monday, January 16, 2006

bar reviews eugene

1. The Horsehead= "Horseass Pub" Has inexpensive drinks and a fairly mixed crowd. The patio gets crowded late at night, but they usually have decent music and the bartenders at night are funny as hell. Also has free pool some nights, but get there early for a table. Half a younger crowd, half an older crowd, every one of them a lush. Has cheap and awesome art hanging always. Candles and crap. The women's bathroom has good graffiti.

2. The Indigo District= "Emo district" Has watery drinks, but quality varies. Gets really crowded on weekends and later at night. The music is way too loud so don't come here expecting to talk to anyone after ten. Hipsters with naroow white belts holding up their low-rise dickies, slick haircuts, confrontational cool kids who pretend they liked iggy pop before last year, aggressive law students looking for free booze, and the heppest doorman in town. Pool tables suck, and there's too many morons leaning on them to play well, but the waterfall makes it a great place to begin the bar crawl, and a perfect place to heckle the idiots with spiky hair. It's good to start here too because you can get some really good (GOOD!) greasy food to keep the booze down later on.

3. Luckey's= "loopy's joint" Pool by the hour, so if you and your friends suck, you won't get played off the table. Good strong drinks, amazingly weird decor, and half the time the live music is incredible. Appeals to a slightly older crowd, I'd say 25-40. I have seen old men in there. Tuesday is quarter pabst for chicks, so if you are truly poor bring a female friend and get her to order you an ocean of cheap beer. Gets very crowded on- tuesday, and during good shows. Has the coolest neon and stained glass ever, and has the back-alley ambience that makes a dive bar feel just right-not too seedy, but not too slick. It is a pool hall, but get there early or you won't get a table from the regulars and pool sharks, and you will feel stupid carrying your stick around.

4.The Black Forest="the fish tank" Live local music for free. Sometimes fills with crazed punkers. Sometimes country music fans. Sometimes crappy jam bands. Has a great big tank with a giant catfish in it, and if you are bored you can watch it. All the shows are free. Apparently they have good karaoke, which to me sounds like a contradiction in terms, but isn't to some people...It gets really packed so order two when you get the chance. The food is actually decent, too.

5.Max's="that place by little's" Has peanuts and they encourage you to toss the shells on the floor. Doesn't have liquor yet, but is about to. The beer is not too expensive and the place doesn't get packed til late, so it's a good place to have the conversations that will fuel the madness. There is a tiny stage. They play eclectic music. The booths are awesome. You can go here alone and read. You can also go with a huge crowd and cram everyone into the same booth. It's near campus so it gets full sometimes, and the crowd is younger, and the pool table sucks.

6.Samurai Duck="Samfuck" Dark, smelly, and way too fucking loud. On monday people juggle fire there and they play that shitty loud industrial dance geek music. Cheap ass drinks that are pretty strong. Lots of scruffy tattooed and pierced kids in all-black. If you want to slum to the wild side it is THE place. It gets crowded during shows. The elderly Asian woman who owns the place smiles a lot and wanders around the pit during shows. But the true beauty of the samfuck lies in three little words, words that have changed my life forever-"DEEP. FRIED. PIZZA." Once you have tried it you'll be hooked and you will have to go here at least once a week.

7.Wetlands="don't eat here" and "sweatglands"The wetlands is a little further out of town. Don't drink and drive. Go with a friend and keep em sober. This place is a pain in the ass for that very reason. Crappy pool tables, punk rock shows that are overpriced, and I swear every time I eat here I get sick. Sober or not. The bar takes forever to order from and I'm not sure how it is when there's no show because a show I must see is the only reason I ever go here.

8.Sam Bond's="Hamhock" A little more hippy/folksy than the rest of the places. Has what would be a down-to-earth vibe, if it weren't for the trustafarians clogging up the bar, ordering fancy "dank" beers. If you like music, they have good shows. They get crowded though and be careful when you sit down outside to smoke, because some hippy girl will come up and explain the theory of crystal therapy to you. Has a nice clean feeling.*side note-my friend says the drinks are very stiff if you work graveyard and go in at 7 a.m.*

9.John Henry's="henrys" Has good shows, all styles of music, not always local. Has a pseudo"burlesque" show on sunday, which is more like strippers than circus or stag films, but you're too young to know the difference, right? Good drinks, if you can get the bartenders to notice you, which is the biggest flaw in the place. I have waited up to 45 minutes for a drink at the bar when it wasn't very crowded. If you like to see people dressed up like a jon cusak film, they have the busiest and craziest 80's night in town, on thursday, but bring a flask and use it because you won't even be able to get through the crowd to order a drink. The pool tables suck and they're by the bathrooms, so it's smelly. It can feel cool to stand outside in front and smoke and watch hippy trainhoppers busk for money. Sometimes there's even a bar fight. The security is on point so don't fuck around in here. A safe place for end-stage last call nightcaps.

10.Diablo's/Downtown Lounge="the pit" (I have no idea why) Red. If you like the color red, and you like to match the bar you're drinking in, you will like this place. The crowd varies depending on the night. Some nights it's a sorority party, with navel piercings and blond mating calls in the air ("I'M SOOOO DRUNK!") Other nights it's full of fetish-club leather people and there are whippings downstairs. Other nights it's nervous poker players rubbing up against sopping drunk karaoke singers. Other nights there is hip-hop music. And some nights, they have a band. And there is free pool on the excellent, red felt tables, I think on Mondays. The drinks are strong, and the food is excellent but not spicy enough. If it's kinda empty and you have good musical taste they may play a cd for you. If you want to dance around it's a good place too. If you like to sit with your drink and smoke and watch people it's great because it's right by the bus station and you can carry your drink out front.

11.Good Times="hard times" This place has a great outdoor patio. They have decent food. They are cheap. They also way the hell down high street so it's a long stumble home. They also get inveded regularly by old bikers that are there to hear the house "jam band" (argh!) and frat boys that are o the prowl.

yes. I wrote this.

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